You only have to ask several people in your immediate circle about work and there will at least one who will tell you they are unhappy, bored or unfulfilled. According to Gallop Poll, there are a lot of these unhappy people in the world – 85% don’t like what they do for a living.

We have all been there at some point or perhaps you are living it now?

Why do we stay? Reasons abound – perceived limited opportunities, fear of change, feeling trapped by responsibilities –  bills to pay, children to feed and a conditioned life of continuing to “do” driven by habit.

Whatever the reason, the story of why it’s safer to stay than to jump, begins in the mind – the internalised jail, resisting change. Yet there is always a pioneer within, who is ready to explore unchartered territory.

The story of resistance can comprise of negative thoughts so convincing and contracting…here a few, offering resistance to change.

No one at work ever listens to my opinion

What a waste of time commuting every day

I’m not appreciated

Work makes me depressed

I don’t know what to do with my life

I’m too old to start again

I need an income to live, there are limited jobs available

Once this begins, It’s easy to be swept up into a fast moving current where the clarity is drowned by emotional overload, setting off a negative landslide and excessive emphasis on an uneventful future that hasn’t turned up yet.

With moving forward into anything unknown, it is natural to feel fear of failure now and projecting it into the future. It’s also easy to extract past negative experiences into the present moment.

It is possible to disentangle oneself from this false identity.

Through creating some non thinking space away from work and doing, there is freedom from the mental concepts trying to micro manage life into more security. Permission to be still and receive from a deeper place within, can guide your next steps.

Acceptance of what is gives the space to put some distance between the negative thoughts surfacing and the true inner self, knowing and clarity.

Acceptance does not mean the intolerable job will be shackled to you for the rest of your life but it will allow for opportunities to enter because there is a different focus and point of attraction. Your radio dial is tuned elsewhere even for a short burst of time.

Acceptance opens up awareness through the contrast of what isn’t wanted.

Here are some suggestions to create a new perspective to look beyond the familiar thinking landscape.

1. Stilling the mind through meditation, taking a bath or sweeping the floor, promotes receptivity to heighten the inner guidance – perhaps in the form of an inspired impulse sweeping through, knowingness or even a strong metal thought unrelated to all others. No matter the delivery vehicle, the answer already resides within you.
2. No one can tell you what the next idea or step is with any certainty, they are not walking your path. It is your experience coming from within, although finding resonance or being inspired by the actions or teachings of another can awaken the sleeping in you.
3. See this situation as an opportunity for transformation. Something different is being asked to appear in your life – to be expressed through you.  Through the confusion and inner conflict, the old is giving way to the new. The confusion can act as a fertile ground to birth creativity and clarity.
4. It doesn’t matter whether you fail or you succeed, this experience is inviting you to organically evolve, where there is no conceptual plan in sight. Discovering your purpose is not a thinking process to solve a problem.
5. If you cannot let go of the resistance that comes with the prospect of maintaining the brain numbing job or failing business, then stop what you are doing for a little while at least. The relief can give rise to create space for something else to open up in your life.
6. Recall your childhood. What did you find yourself drawn to? Remember who or what made your heart sing or hobbies you loved exploring and doing. Recognise past passions. 

I remember always being drawn to the mysteries of the world. The unknown and intangible – it couldn’t be seen and explained. Spiritual Teachers like the Dalia Lama, Ghandi, Tibetan monastics from a young age. Innovators and change makers.

Be aware not to get too attached or identify with the past to fill an uncomfortable void. A void can be necessary to birth the new. Be with what is surfacing – uncomfortable or joyful, allow it to reveal itself to you.

You see what’s possible, they don’t

You share your insights and experiences, they dismiss it as hocus pocus and luck

You offer solutions, they don’t implement or forget what you have said

It leaves you feeling drained, disempowered and dejected.

Trying to change the perspective of others is a battle of minds and creates resistance. Where has your focus gone? On their lack or your own path and abundance?

Scarcity can feel like the life is being sucked out of you with a straw. It’s a perception of never enough and a constriction of not just physical needs but emotional needs too. Not enough love? money? food?

Where does change begin?

Not by beating the drum of the same story with the same people.

Every time you become annoyed or drawn into their lackful vantage point, you meet them at the same destination by engaging their egos and their vibrational stance.  It now becomes easy to be swept up in their slip stream and resistant to your intuition.

“Reaction to their point of view causes resistance within you”

Bring the focus back to you, accept your current experience as counterproductive as this sounds.

Accept how they are thinking presently.  Acceptance doesn’t mean you agree with the lack, rather you are not offering an argument, defence or negativity towards people and situations. This only serves to reinforce it.

In the absence of resistance, abundance flows and not just financially – all things enriching and desired can come into your life.

Focus on what is true for you without the need for assurance, approval or validation from others. Your change radiating from within creates change in others without the need to influence with words or you may witness their removal from your expansiveness, until ready to accept this within themselves.

Understanding the deeper drivers creating the standby effect with family and friends is the priority.  Why you have been waiting for your family to listen to you and why have they not?

Being the priority in healing scarcity not only allows old negative emotions to surface about your own powerlessness but also awaken yourself to new possibilities and ideas.

It stops giving energy to what isn’t manifesting linked to the circle of well-meaning naysayers. It appears that they are not granting permission to expand which may be an excuse and the distraction your mind is creating to keeping your own beliefs alive, fuelling your own scarcity, non-recognition or rejection.

Simply taking the time to still your mind to connect with your inner being, allows for space and dis-identification from negative thoughts and emotions of the past. Your truth will become apparent.

You can’t do anything about anyone else’s thoughts and reactions but you can do something about your own. It can only lead to empowerment.

We have all done it, compared ourselves to others, desiring to have more because what we think will make us happy is presently and perhaps painfully out of reach. We see what’s over the fence and in the process of using whatever means possible to jump the fence, we become dislocated and disconnected from our authentic selves.

Comparison takes many forms. It could be focusing on appearances, achievements, financial position, relationships, or education level.

There are two ways to look at how comparison functions. You will either be satisfied with yourself or not, using others and your surroundings to derive a superficial benchmark of aspiration.

1. Seeing oneself with a heightened sense of self-worth can form addictive attachments, constantly dependant on the external world of things.

Eg. The work place has given you promotion after promotion, you are flying on a high, your sense of self is identified of your achievements and accolades. Then one day, you are made redundant after an organisation restructure. Fear, Loss and devastation surface.  Your sense of self is derived from the loss of your achievements and accolades.

1. Seeing oneself as lessor than equates to self-worth fraught with heavy thoughts and emotions. Situations triggering non-acceptance continue to be negatively endured.

Eg. A successful person in your industry who has achieved a lot, created positive impact and is financially free causes you to react to your perceived lack. Identifying with someone’s else’s life and aspiring for their successes removes you from your authentic alignment and what life wants to uniquely create through you.

When comparison occurs, it contracts and diminishes. It divides and conquers. Long term, it can only lead to unhappiness and separation.

To leave comparison behind, be mindful when it arises. Discern the thoughts in your head creating the story.  Eg. I don’t feel successful. Why does everyone else have what they want and I don’t?

It begins the process of disentanglement. Find and acknowledge the emotion that accompanies the story. Is it hopelessness, anger, disappointment? Be with these emotions, even if it causes discomfort.

Through observing the emotions, space is created. Here lies the opportunity for deep understanding and dissolving of the false identity – the person who has accumulated labels and experiences on an outer level.

A direct experience of knowing, aliveness, and peace can permeate as resistance to painful emotions dissipates and dissolves.

Here are some examples of when comparison has given way to radiant peaceful self.

• Losing a job is met with neutrality and seen as an opportunity to expand into the unknown positively. If fear arises, then it is recognised as a function of the mind and another opportunity presents to dissolve and transform the negative energy.  Be present to it rather than reacting and fuelling it.

• Rather than comparing oneself to another’s accomplishments, Yu turn it into acceptance and appreciation. Understanding another’s experience prompts upliftment and resonance. Acknowledging the reflection and recognising the qualities and gifts already present within you.

• Nothing anyone can say or do can disconnect you from your peace, connection and knowing. It is stronger than any mind based belief which wants to separate and look for reassurance in the opinions of others or things.

Ever wondered why you can have a desire and using the principles of law of attraction, it should erupt into the world of material form, if you follow the formula? Why doesn’t it happen all of the time? Or perhaps you manifest what you want, but it’s been accompanied by sheer will and a non-peaceful state…are you left feeling satisfied or empty?

Now…ever wondered where your knowingness that emanates so strongly from within comes from? It could be for an idea, decision or a someone you have met and feels like vibrational chimes being rung permeating through your entire body. It can last for days.

Physical manifestations that drop in effortlessly and it’s as if you have been sent a universal telegram, reading your mind and soul. Delivering in ways you could never expect.

Creating your reality can both occur through the mind or through your inner being.

When the principles of law attraction are being applied, the mind (ego) with its thoughts, beliefs and associated emotions) is being engaged to create.

The law of attraction works on the principle that what you intentionally feel will attract the very situation, thing, event to you. This is true. Thoughts and emotions, focusing on how you feel, not reacting to present conditions, will bring about the manifestation of what is desired.  It is being done purposefully and wilfully with an intentional desire from the mind. The powers of manifestation are also limited by the mind….only what the mind knows will manifest, although synchronistic, unusual moments may unfold to dance in with the desire.

When creating from the level of the mind, can you feel any of the following within you?

• The mind usually doesn’t come from wanting to give but rather comes from not having enough and will accumulate associations with defining itself, adding power to maintaining an identity, born out of compensating or lack.

• There is usually an impatience to manifesting which leads to distress and frustration.

• Manifesting things cannot evoke a sense of peace but may contribute to a sense of security. This security can be dissolved at anytime.

• There is stress in the creating and perhaps moments of relief. (the mind is participating and merging with source)

“manifesting from the mind is not wrong”, everyone desires happiness, it’s the way our inner compass naturally points. However, when the ego is thinking it’s way to happiness, what you believe will make you happy in the future, does not necessarily occur – fulfilment from a deeper level can still feel illusive and ultimately end in dissatisfaction and disappointment”

To illustrate an example, a friend of mine built a stunning house with her partner in a rural setting by the beautiful beach. A lifelong dream and once built, she had a realisation that she could no longer be in the relationship. There had been constant drama and turmoil. The arguments had always been there but the house project had blown open the dysfunction within the relationship. She thought she would be happy, it’s what she always wanted and manifested the man with the skills and money to build it for her.

Her realisation birthed the decision to leave him and the house to return to her “soul” home on a remote island in the Bahamas, where she did find happiness in herself and peace.

So what is manifesting from your inner being?

It’s the presence that is you and connected with all that exists. Commonly referred to as unified consciousness. This formless part of you that is listening and experiencing life. This part of you is heard through the stillness and thoughtlessness of the mind.  The non-identification with the conception view of the ego.

This part of you knows all and cannot be thought into existence, it just is. Nor can it be willed to make itself known.

It’s from this beingness where an impulse, an idea, or knowingness arises suddenly. It can be referred to as your intuition, intuition arising from your inner being. Although intuition is the messenger, the inner self is so much more than this – a steady hum of aliveness in the backdrop of thoughts, emotions and everyday life.

It’s a whole-body experience that usually comes without thought but if thought is there, it is so aligned and right, it bypasses the thinking mind. When you feel it, you will know it, however it can be followed shortly by the mind beginning to question or analyse the experience. At this point, there is a distinct difference in vibrational quality between the experience and the mind chatter.

Manifestation of material form happens easily and with flow, when the inner being is radiating and life lives through you in alignment with your true self because the mind is not offering resistance – beliefs to hijack the unfolding of the manifestation.

Being aware, discerning the difference between the mind and the inner being allows for the strengthening of the inner being within. And in this arising, there is also joy and aliveness that doesn’t have a polarised counterpart of negative emotion.

It is coming from the deeper conscious self, guiding and directing you as life works through you.

“There is a letting go, a non-attachment to outcome which allows resistance to drop away and flow to occur”

It wasn’t too long ago I experienced a tipping point in my own understanding of forcing life to manifest and flowing with it.

I enjoyed my work and wanted to create a purposeful living from it – helping people transform their limiting beliefs and teaching how to go within to listen to the inner being.

I needed to connect with people who wanted this service and began to be heavily influenced by the business online environment. I was bombarded with a zillion ways to reach my audience….online courses, memberships, retreats, workshops, online FB groups, blogs, videos and podcasts.

After all, it was what the “experts” and successful people were doing.

Why reinvent the wheel when there were so many wheels to choose from? In this process, I forgot to listen to what my inner being was telling me, where all my knowingness resided.

I was stressed, tired, working long hours and not enjoying the journey all that much. I also was aware that the business didn’t feel good, something was missing. I had gone off track and I was suffering from a lot of noise in my head dictating daily life which had morphed into a daily grind.

Yet I knew this work coming through me was my purpose, my skill and my gift.

This lead to a deeper transformation one night where I had a head-on collision between my ego (beliefs) and my desire for peace and flow.

I was able to see the difference between my egoic thoughts and the peace and aliveness that unified everything. I had accessed my inner self in a way never experienced before. My inner being became my dominant presence and guide.

I let go of what I should do, my perceived plans, so called financial budgets and a future orientated ideal of what happiness looks like. This experience allowed me to surrender and get out of my own way, space was created within (for a few months I took time out) and the next step with absolute knowingness was revealed and implemented.

When creating from your inner being, can you feel any of the following from within?

• what can I give birth to?
• non-attachment to any identification of accolades, praise, approval and so forth.
• Not seeking to derive happiness from the form, just joy from expressing itself into reality.
• Feeling it’s beyond the ego, and powerful in impact from a place of stillness.
• The manifestation is unlimited because all of you is being accessed connected with source.

Neither way is wrong but the ego is not the real you but can act from a dominant position drowning out the essence of you.

Accessing the part of you which still, peaceful and alive gives birth to what you desire without the need to push or think it to existence.

Do you feel like there’s an invisible tug holding you back from reaching your full potential as an entrepreneur? Most of the time, the only obstacles that stand in the way between female entrepreneurs and success are their self-limiting beliefs.

In a nutshell, limiting beliefs are perceptions that we have about ourselves and the world around us that limit us in some way. They can be a product of an experience in the past, and accepted it as truth, coloring our perception and attracting more of the same. To overcome your limiting beliefs, you need to identify what they are, accept them without judgement and choose new beliefs with actions to enforce and anchor. Take a look at the top 6 limiting beliefs keeping female entrepreneurs stuck and see if any of them sound familiar.

1.  I’ll have to sacrifice my personal life

One of the biggest limiting beliefs of female entrepreneurs is that they will have to sacrifice their personal life to follow their entrepreneurial spirit. Add a marriage, children and a pet or two into the equation and you’ve got yourself a ticking time bomb. Will your personal and work life be able to coexist in harmony or is doomed from the very start? While this is a scary thought you need to take it as it is – just a possibility, not a guaranteed outcome. You’re the one in control of your life and you choose how you will live it.

2. What if it’s not perfect?

Let’s be honest – there’s no such thing as perfection. What might seem ‘perfect’ to you today might seem terrible to you tomorrow. You will always be evolving, professionally and personally, and so will your perception of things. So rather than racking your brain to get it right tomorrow, make it happen today. Don’t use perfectionism as an excuse to procrastinate. Setting high expectations for yourself is great, but it should not come at a price of doing nothing.

3. Others can do it better than me

While you should look to other entrepreneurs for inspiration, you should not compare your potential with theirs. Every entrepreneur has something different to offer the world. Wondering why you haven’t reached the same success as others will only lead you to chase other people’s dreams instead of pursuing your own. Learn to embrace your uniqueness and use it to help others.

4. Is this really what I want?

When self-doubt kicks in, it can be difficult to think with a clear head. Questions like – “why I am I doing this?”, “what are my motives?” and “do I have the experience and skills to see this through?” can be enough to drive most female entrepreneurs to inactivity. But what if hope is replaced with and intuitive knowing, self-doubt morphs into self-acceptance? Well, in that case, what was once limiting, becomes limitless.

5. I don’t deserve to be successful

This limiting belief makes you feel like you don’t deserve recognition for your contribution to the world. However, this is anything but true. Anything that is a result of innovation, zeal and hard work deserves to be recognised. Don’t underestimate what you can do, and the gifts and abilities you possess. As soon as you acknowledge your self-worth, so will others.

6. Nobody cares about what I have to say

Do you feel like you have a wealth of knowledge to share, but fear it’s not enough? Learning is perpetual. And your knowledge might be what someone needs to put two and two together. So don’t doubt yourself for a second. Be heard right now and be an inspiration to those hungry for knowledge – knowledge only you can provide.

The good news is that you can overcome these limiting beliefs. The first step is self-acceptance. Accept that you’re not perfect, embrace your flaws and seize life’s opportunity. Believe in yourself and you will see others believe in you. After all, being an entrepreneur is fundamentally a journey of self-belief and assisting others on theirs.

The nature of our thoughts and emotions strongly influence how we perceive our lives. In fact, it ALL begins in our minds and dependent on our previous experiences will provide the filtering system to determine our overall outlook on life, namely, whether we are happy or sad, optimistic or pessimistic. Our thoughts and emotions create our manifested reality. We then make decisions based on what we believe and how we imagine we will feel once those desires land in our lap. Our reality becomes the sum of our beliefs.

If we believe life happens FOR us (taking conscious responsibility for what we think), then no matter what happens, we cultivate a positive or accepting outlook, in turn this attracts more of the same, lessening fear and improving confidence. Similarly, if we believe life happens TO us (taking no responsibility for our thoughts) we are fearful and disempowered of what life will throw at us next…negative thoughts and emotions remain and we see more of the same, creating stagnancy and fear, impeding the clarity to make decisions.

Don’t let your thoughts stop you from being the best version of yourself. Follow these 7 steps to change your mind and choose your thoughts and emotions.

1. Identify Your Self-Limiting Beliefs

Look within to identify any beliefs that are holding you back. An easy way to do this is by evaluating yourself through your emotions.

First, write down your top 5 desires. Project yourself into the future, how would it make you feel if you had want you wanted? Relief, happy, satisfied, safe?

Now, go into your present moment, close your eyes and breathe deeply. Imagine your desires again. What’s the emotion or thought that comes up? Uncertainty, doubt, fear, worthiness….go deeper, why are they there? Where did this come from? Once you can identify the thoughts, the memory, the time and who of when these your self-limiting beliefs entrenched themselves, it’s easier to shift and transform them.

2. Turn Negativity into Positive Action 

Every time we are in the thick a negative situation, our minds go into fight, flight or freeze. In other words, attack – blame the other person, avoidance, denial or people please to avoid confrontation. All behaviours are in place with the same outcome; to remain emotionally safe.  But rather than play the role of a victim or aggressor, understand the trigger within you and take control and transform it into a learning experience to change the outcome into a positive action. To do this, focus less on what you don’t want, to change your internal landscape and enforce it all.

3. Ask for an Objective Opinion

Seek out someone who is inspiring and who’s story you resonate with. What challenges did they face? How did they change? It’s looking at adversity and looking at it objectively that can divert your focus from negativity to bring you back into alignment through somebody’s else’s challenges, journey and opinion. Your inner voice and intuitive radar will ring with knowingness when you hear and feel the words needed for change. Take heed of their advice and personalize their approach to fit your needs.

4. Immerse Yourself into Your Dream Vision

Do you spend a chunk of time brooding over the obstacles that separate you from turning your dreams into reality? Instead of focusing on the road blocks, immerse yourself in your vision. How will reaching your dream make you feel? How do you imagine you will change for the better? How will it improve your quality of life? Direct your thoughts and feelings on appreciation and knowingness and it won’t be long before you begin to see the signs of it manifesting breeding more belief and confidence.

5. Appreciate Yourself and Choose Vibrant Emotions 

A key step to changing your mind is having the courage to do so. Appreciate yourself and what you have accomplished and experienced so far in your life. Focusing on how you want to feel and seeing life with eyes of non-judgement will continue to elevate you. Break your vision into smaller milestones and work towards them. Be appreciative of every accomplishment, it’s self-love delivered in a consistent dose. It’s a far more proactive approach to bringing in what you desire.

6. Make a Decision to Commit

To bring about change, you need to be decisive. Change requires full commitment. Hoping your mind and way of thinking will change overnight is like driving with your eyes closed! You need to understand why and identify where you are now and where you want to be. You need to put in the effort consistently in your pursuit for change and only then will you reap the rewards you desire.

7. Be Accountable and Responsible

Finally, accept responsibility and be accountable for your thoughts. This will empower you to steer you back with clear intent to change your mind. After all, they are your thoughts and you are in the driver’s seat. It’s up to decide how you wish to direct them. However, be careful not to judge yourself if you aren’t there YET.

Your path to change may not be an easy one. It requires courage and determination.  However, once you do change your mind, you’ll feel different and lighter. There isn’t a timeframe and you don’t have to rush your journey to change your mind. Take one step at a time and remember to find the silver lining in every thought – and importantly, don’t resist the dark clouds when they gather, they will pass as you re orientate your focus.

From a young age we are led to believe that our actions determine the course of our lives. We admire people who work hard, find motivation in rags to riches stories and love go-getters.  Why? Well, because action seems to be a better solution than inaction. When we face a problem, we are encouraged to do something about it rather than accept it without a fight. We are instilled with the belief that it takes a lot of hard work, determination and effort to achieve our goals in life. Inaction, or cruising through life, on the other hand, is seen as a sign of privilege and laziness – or so it seems.

It’s important to differentiate between a forced life and a flowing life. A forced life has the elements of resistance, anxiety, confusion and MAKING things happen, while a natural flow is when things line up, it feels effortless and synchronistic events fall into our lives in accordance for our highest good. It’s what feels right to you – to swimming with the flow of the current, not against it.

Seize Unlikely Opportunities – It’s neither good nor bad.

You’ve probably heard of the saying – sometimes the best things in life will come knocking on your door when you least expect them. Whoever said this sure knew what they were talking about. And just think about it. How many times has a ‘negative’ experience turned out to be just what you need? Perhaps you were fired from a job that led you to start your own successful business. Or you ended a relationship you felt obligated to stay in, and then met the love of your life.

Although an experience may seem hard or devastating, it may be the opportunity needed. Everything happens for a reason so let life flow. It might be a scary thought to just let things be, but after all, you have created this opportunity for a positive outcome…which may not yet be revealed.

Find Strength in Failure

What devastates us most in life is failure – failure to satiate our ego or live up to other people’s expectations of us. This fear of failure leads us to be confined by the invisible shackles of “what if”. What if I don’t succeed? What if I’m wrong? What if I disappoint those closest to me? These doubts can push us to take forced road, deterring us from our desires and set up the very thing we are trying to avoid.

In every failure is in fact, a tiny success. Every time you fail at something, you come out of the situation wiser, stronger and more mature. Moving from force to flow is about listening to your inner guidance – your feelings and taking inspired action to lead you to exactly where you need to be…. And this could include being led to what is perceived as a failure. Look at failures as essential building blocks towards personal growth and success. It’ll make your journey through life much more gratifying and objective.

Plan Less, Live More

It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of habit and routine. We get so used to life going in a certain direction that we are sometimes afraid of drifting off course. As a result we end up planning every aspect of lives: creating a controlled existence.

But where does this leave the joy of spontaneity? As much as you want to be able to control and influence an outcome, you are not almighty. Stop looking at life like another page out of your daily planner that you can cross out as complete. Instead of fearing the unknown, learn to embrace it. Step outside your comfort zone and live in the present, not tomorrow.

As John Lennon once said “Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.” Trust in your instincts and believe that things will fall into place on their own accord. Sometimes the best thing you can do is surrender to the flow of life. Rather than make things happen, let life happen instead and let go. Move from force to flow. Take pleasure in the unknown and find peace in the unexpected. Only then will you learn to appreciate life working for you and all its fluidity, leading you down a path towards what you really need to experience.